Technology is a Tool, Not an End State

“Technology is just a tool. It’s a powerful tool, but it’s just a tool. Deep human connection is very different. It’s not a tool. It’s not a means to an end. It is the end – the purpose and the result of a meaningful life.” – Melinda Gates

I arrived at Stanford University on a gloriously sunny autumn day, excited to start my graduate studies. Being young and naïve, I felt certain about two things. First, I wanted to escape the cold, dreary New England winters I'd grown up with for California's year-round sunshine. Second, I'd become passionate about management science after a brief taste of it as an undergrad. It seemed to fit my mental model of how I thought the world could be analyzed and optimized to solve the hardest problems in business, government, and society.

Everything else was uncertain, especially how I'd pay for school and support myself. But I'd navigated similar terrain during my undergraduate years, so I felt optimistic.

While looking for campus jobs, I stumbled upon Academic Information Resources (AIR), which developed training and support for academic computer use at Stanford. Since I had similar experience as an undergrad, I managed to talk my way into a research assistant position. The work let me pursue my studies without worrying about my finances.

What I didn't realize was that I'd arrived during a pivotal moment when personal computers and networks were transforming academic research, and I was going to play a small part in it. My job involved creating and delivering software training for the Stanford community, plus holding "office hours" where anyone could drop by for help with tech questions. The work was both challenging and fun, and it helped with my schoolwork too.

Working with students and faculty, I started to realize that the future was being invented all around me. As an idealistic student, what grabbed me most was Silicon Valley's "cultural optimism." The genuine belief among early founders that their technologies could solve major problems and make human life better, from making information easier to access to connecting people around the world. This do-good philosophy existed right alongside commercial ambitions, and I held onto this idea tightly for years.

That is, until I could see that technology was doing more harm than good.

More than a decade ago, I sensed social media was harming me by demanding I care what barely known "connections" ate for lunch and pressuring me to wish acquaintances happy birthday. As my number of "friends" increased, the burden grew beyond my capability. So, one day, I stopped paying attention and decided to focus on real life. I began emphasizing meaningful interactions and shared experiences. I felt happier and less anxious.

Years later, I became troubled by technology's role in the lives of people I cared about. I watched as online hostility led to greater divisiveness and isolation.

Now AI threatens to accelerate these problems. Unlike previous transformative technologies that developed over decades or centuries, AI is advancing at an exponential pace, poised to reshape society and social interactions in ways we're only beginning to understand.

Yet I continue to believe technology can bring us together. The key is intentionality. Using these tools, including AI, strategically can build genuine connections rather than pursuing empty metrics such as likes and shares.