The Hidden Cost of Raising iPad Kids: What I Learned as a Server

Courtesy of Upworthy

Every Saturday morning for two years, I had the privilege of serving what I came to think of as "The Brunch Family." Two parents and their children—ages 7 and 10—would settle in for a leisurely two-hour meal that stood out as remarkably different from most family dining experiences I witnessed.

Their ritual never varied: drinks first (rosé for the adults, orange juice and hot chocolate for the kids), followed by a shared order of fries before the main course. But what made them truly exceptional wasn't their order—it was what was missing from their table.

No phones. No tablets. No screens whatsoever.

The children ordered for themselves, made eye contact, and participated in conversations. The parents kept their phones tucked away in bags for the entire meal. It was old-fashioned in the best possible way. Compared to what I usually saw, they were an anomaly.

Most families didn’t look like that.

In fact, the term “iPad kid” became a regular part of my vocabulary—an unofficial label for the growing number of children I saw with screens shoved into their hands within minutes of sitting down. These were the kids who never looked up, who didn’t make eye contact, who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) order their food. They were often overstimulated, irritable, and shockingly disrespectful—to restaurant staff and even their own parents.

Tantrums? Solved with a screen. Boredom? Fixed with a video game. A meltdown? Queue up Cocomelon. The screens weren’t just entertainment—they were pacifiers. And they were everywhere.

The Rise of the Digital Babysitter

It wasn’t long before I started researching what I was witnessing firsthand. It turns out, my gut instinct was right. The Cleveland Clinic and numerous child development experts have confirmed that excessive screen time—especially during early childhood—has real, lasting consequences.

From emotional dysregulation and shortened attention spans to delayed language development and stunted social skills, the science is stacking up. Children aren’t just zoning out. They’re missing out—on the experiences and interactions that build empathy, resilience, and independence.

Dr. Michael Manos, a pediatric psychologist, emphasizes the critical problem: when we use screens to soothe discomfort, we rob children of the chance to learn how to manage their own emotions. Frustration, boredom, disappointment—these are not just “bad feelings” to avoid. They’re opportunities to grow. And when screens are used to numb emotions, that growth stalls.

What Happens When Kids Don’t Look Up?

Think about the last time you tried to have a conversation with someone who was distracted by their phone. Now imagine that being your entire childhood.

Screens at the dinner table don’t just silence kids—they silence relationships. Children who rarely participate in real-life conversations miss out on learning social cues, practicing turn-taking, and understanding nonverbal communication. These subtle skills are the foundation of empathy, confidence, and cooperation—all essential for thriving in school, relationships, and life.

When screens replace family connection, children don’t just lose a moment—they lose crucial developmental milestones.

Digital Devices, Real Consequences

Let’s be honest: parenting today is hard. The pressures are intense, the standards are high, and the devices are always within reach. Handing over a phone can feel like a small act of peace. And sometimes, it is. But when it becomes a habit, the cost of convenience adds up.

We’re raising a generation that may be emotionally underdeveloped, socially disconnected, and addicted to digital validation. That’s not an exaggeration—it’s our reality. And the responsibility to change course doesn’t lie with children. It lies with us.

What Can We Do?

Start small. Reclaim mealtimes as a space for real connection. Keep devices off the table and out of reach. Invite your kids into conversation. Let them order their own meals. Let them feel bored. Let them learn that the world is interesting—even without a screen.

And, most importantly, lead by example. Children copy what they see. If we want them to value human connection, we have to show them how it’s done.

That family I adored? They weren’t perfect—but they were intentional. Their weekly brunch wasn’t about food. It was about family. It was about presence. And in today’s digital age, that’s nothing short of revolutionary.

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“How Screen Time Can Impact a Child’s Emotional Regulation.” Cleveland Clinic, 10 Apr. 2023, newsroom.clevelandclinic.org/2023/04/10/how-screen-time-can-impact-a-childs-emotional-regulation.