Relationships Matter More Than Fitness Trackers
"The more our lifestyle evolves to maximize efficiency at the expense of human interaction, the more focused we must become in directing our use of technology to facilitate deeper personal connections." - Vivek Murthy
A Life Lesson
It was 7pm on a Tuesday when my daughter's fever spiked after surgery. As a single mother with two young children, panic set in. The pediatrician prescribed antibiotics, but the pharmacy was across town. I couldn't leave my sick 8-year-old and her 5-year-old brother home alone.
Feeling somewhat desperate, I called my neighbors next door for help. Twenty minutes later, they stood at my doorstep with the medication my daughter needed. I felt comfortable asking for help because our relationship was built through a series of small moments. Chatting from our driveways about our day. Watching our children play together on our block. Casual get-togethers over a glass of wine. That night, I fully realized the important role my neighbors played in my life.
What Is Social Health?
Our digital connectedness has led us to believe that living in community with others closest to us doesn't matter. We can be "friends" with anyone anywhere in the world. But when you need help right now, physical proximity and immediate availability matter more than blood ties or even closer emotional bonds that are far away. Building these relationships forms a social safety net that catches us when we are in need.
Social health isn’t about the number of followers we have or how many holiday cards we sent this year. It is a core dimension of overall well-being that refers to the quality and quantity of a person’s relationships, as well as their ability to form meaningful, positive connections with others. It includes close relationships with family, friends and co-workers, but equally important are those small, everyday interactions we rarely consider yet deeply need.
Small talk while waiting in line at the grocery store. A friendly nod to a neighbor. Or a genuine compliment to someone we meet. In the workplace, it might be casual conversations in the snack area. Saying hello to a coworker in the hallway. Even just checking in with a teammate during a meeting.
The Science of Connection
The Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed participants for over 80 years, making it one of the longest-running studies of human happiness ever conducted. Their conclusion is simple. The single most reliable predictor of health and happiness in old age is the strength of our relationships. The numbers are staggering.
50% reduced risk of depression among people with strong social bonds
29% lower risk of heart disease in socially connected adults
Up to 4x stronger immunity in people with diverse relationships
91% higher survival rate after heart attacks for those with robust social connections
2x faster recovery from surgery among patients with strong support networks
15% longer lifespans observed in communities with high social cohesion
Relationships rewire our brains for resilience, regulate our stress hormones, and strengthen our immune systems. Conversely, chronic loneliness triggers the same physiological stress response as physical pain, flooding our bodies with inflammation markers linked to heart disease, dementia, and early death. This is our biology.
The Technology Paradox
Technology isn't inherently the villain, but how we use it often causes us harm. Passive scrolling and algorithm-driven feeds create what MIT's Sherry Turkle calls "the illusion of companionship without the demands of intimacy." We mistake digital engagement for genuine connection.
Recent neuroscience research reveals the stark difference:
In-person interactions activate multiple brain regions associated with reward and bonding.
Face-to-face conversations stimulate oxytocin at levels 2-3 times higher than text exchanges.
The absence of nonverbal cues in digital communication reduces emotional understanding by up to 65%.
Multitasking during video calls (which 67% of people admit to) eliminates most social benefits.
We've created a world where we can instantly message someone on another continent but struggle to have a meaningful conversation with the person next door.
Breaking Free from Disconnection
Here are some of the factors that keep us isolated, even when we know better.
Loneliness
Loneliness creates a vicious cycle. When we feel disconnected, our brains interpret social cues more negatively, making us withdraw further. We assume others are too busy, too successful, or simply not interested. The simple fact is that reaching out doesn't just help us, it gives the other person a dose of connection they likely crave too.
Busyness
We convince ourselves that jam-packed schedules equal purposeful lives. Yet the average American spends over 3 hours daily on their phone often mindlessly scrolling rather than meaningfully connecting. Why don't we treat relationships like exercise or sleep? As truly non-negotiable investments in our health, deserving of a regular, protected place in our schedules.
Hyperconnectedness
We've become hooked on the convenience of low-stakes digital interaction. It feels easier to text than call, to like a post rather than have coffee, to consume other people’s lives through social media rather than create shared experiences. But convenience isn't connection. It's a pale substitute that leaves us seeking something more substantial.
Small Steps Can Have a Big Impact
The beauty of social health lies in its accessibility. Unlike other wellness trends that require expensive equipment or hard to find supplements, connection grows through simple, everyday choices. Here are some ideas to move us in this direction.
Replace one solo activity with a shared one each week. Invite a friend to join your morning workout at the gym.
Make one meaningful check-in call weekly. Call the relative who's navigating a difficult transition to ask how it’s going.
Create opportunities for spontaneous connection. Suggest walking meetings instead of hunkering down in a conference room.
Practice being present in small moments. Put your phone away during conversations.
Serve a cause bigger than yourself. Volunteer with a local organization that can put your skills to work aiding your community.
Being intentional about incorporating these practices into my life has made me significantly happier, and the science shows that I’m healthier as well.
Building Better Lives Through Interdependence
In a culture that celebrates independence and self-reliance, acknowledging our need for others feels destabilizing. We're taught that needing people is weakness and strength means taking care of things on our own.
Science tells a different story. Our brains evolved for connection. Our bodies are literally designed to thrive in community. The myth of the self-made individual is psychologically damaging and biologically false. True strength isn't about standing alone. We are better together.
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Cohen, Sheldon. "Social Relationships and Health." American Psychologist, vol. 59, no. 8, 2004, pp. 676–684.
House, James S., Karl R. Landis, and Debra Umberson. "Social Relationships and Health." Science, vol. 241, no. 4865, 1988, pp. 540–545.
Holt-Lunstad, Julianne, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton. "Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review." PLOS Medicine, vol. 7, no. 7, 2010, e1000316.
Umberson, Debra, and Jennifer Karas Montez. "Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for Health Policy." Journal of Health and Social Behavior, vol. 51, suppl. 2010, pp. S54–S66.
Yang, Yang Claire, et al. "Social Relationships and Physiological Determinants of Longevity across the Human Life Span." Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 113, no. 3, 2016, pp. 578–583.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. Office of the U.S. Surgeon General, 2023, www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html.
Crane, Steven. Personal interview. Stanford Lifestyle Medicine, 2025.
